Couples and Relationships

I am an Imago relationship therapist. If you are in a relationship which is suffering from conflict, distance or some other dynamic which is making life difficult we can help you and your partner find a new understanding and connection.

We work with same-sex and different sex couples, using the Imago Relationship Therapy approach.

We can also help parties in non-romantic relationships, such as family members or friends in difficult friendships.

From partners and lovers, through siblings and parents to colleagues and friends, we navigate our way through a minefield of expectations, hopes, fantasies, dependencies, attractions, disappointments, guilt, resentments and blame.

And while our relationships with others can bring us some of life’s greatest experiences and pleasures, when they go wrong they can cause us pain and distress, as well as, sometimes, physical danger. I work with romantically associated couples (female-male; female-female; male-male), as well as with individual members of such couples, facing difficulties in their relationships.

I also work with one or both halves of those other types of couple I’ve mentioned.
This includes adult siblings, adult children and an older parent, alienated friends, and step-children and parents, as well as business partners, work colleagues and others keen to improve their life by resolving a relationship issue.

I may find myself working with both partners together; with one partner only; or as is frequently the case, with both partners for some of the time but with one only for a longer period.

Though cases differ, the common thread running through almost all is that behaviours imprinted on one or other partner (or on both partners) earlier in life (by parents, former partners, religious or cultural upbringings, poverty, abuse, abandonment or some other circumstance) are bringing about confrontation.
As the effect of these behaviours impacts the relationship, it becomes ever more difficult for the other partner to understand and so respond to their partner’s needs.
In counterpart, the apparent inability or unwillingness of one partner to respond to the needs of the other also creates distance.

My role as a counsellor or therapist is not to judge either partner in a relationship, nor to adjudicate in a dispute.

It is to help both partners to understand the dynamics at play in the relationship, and to recognise and understand their own behaviour, underlying issues which may be causing these, and the effect they are having on their partner and so on the relationship.

I create a civil and safe environment in the sessions, so that each partner can view the relationship, and their own and their partner’s roles in it, with a new objectivity, and with empathy and respect for the other’s needs and feelings.

Singles with Relationship Difficulties

For some people, being single is a conscious choice.
For others, for whom it is not especially their chosen state, it still causes no difficulty.

Yet for other people, being single is both socially and emotionally challenging, bringing to the surface a host of self-doubts, condemnations, fears and regrets.
It may also unleash behaviours which are both regretful and counter to both the individual’s well-being, and to their chances of forming new and meaningful relationships.

I work with both female and male clients who are experiencing anxiety, grief or other symptoms as a result of being single.

In some cases they may be finding it hard to move on from a divorce or other relationship that has ended, while in others they may be having difficulty in attracting a partner, or in finding someone they are willing to let themselves become involved with.

In other cases, a client may find her or himself repeatedly embarking on relationships with partners they know will mistreat them or make them unhappy.
In every case, my approach is to work with my client to explore patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving, usually based on their experiences in childhood or adolescence.

By challenging the decisions the individual is making based on these feelings and behaviours, and by replacing these with new and uncontaminated perspectives on self, others and the future, we look to promote new approaches which can result in new, secure and fulfilling relationships.

Contact Zainab at Innsaei Counselling and Psychotherapy today